Let’s Hear It For The Boy

I don’t think about the male perspective as much as I probably should in most areas of my life.  But one place in particular where I overlook it, is being the spouse of a doctor.  I think in general society has led us to embrace the term “doctor’s wife” quite naturally.  But one term we don’t hear too often is “doctor’s husband.”  I think part of the reason I personally don’t hear it as often is because Mr. Dr. has chosen a field that is primarily dominated by males.  But at his program, there are 2 women in his class that will one day be operating with drills and rods.  And even the ortho surgeon on Grey’s Anatomy is a female role.  Interesting.  So why is it I easily forget that there are husbands out there that are experiencing quite the same feelings I am while our significant others are out in the hospital training their booties off to be skilled craftspeople in their field?  Maybe it’s because guys don’t vent as much about the challenges of being married to a doctor.  Maybe it’s because to them, it isn’t a challenge.  Maybe it’s because there are less doctor’s husbands out there.  Maybe it’s because us women can’t relate on the same level as the men when it comes to this sort of thing.  Whatever it is, I think it would be interesting to get inside the head of a doctor’s husband and understand if he feels the same way I do.  Guys and girls are programmed differently on all sorts of levels so in the instance of being a medical spouse I am curious.

This is not to be confused with couples that are both doctors.  That is different.  Both can relate to one another on the medical level.  No I am strictly referring to men like me.  A spouse in a completely unrelated field who is playing the supportive role while their significant other is going through doctorhood.

On the one hand I picture a husband sitting on his couch in sweats drinking brewskies playing his PS3, loving the fact that he gets ample alone time to juggle multiple fantasy football leagues.  On the other hand I picture a husband hard at work as a stay-at-home dad who loves to cook and carpool, and is president of the neighborhood book club.  I am sure there are doctor’s husbands out there that fit both descriptions but do they both get lonely?  Do they ever feel like less of a man because their wife has an M.D. at the end of her name and they don’t?  If they did, would they tell people?

I know it sounds silly.  But if we reminisce for a minute about traditional roles then it seems backwards.  Men feel macho by providing for the family and being the protector.  But if their wife takes on that role I just wonder if their husband is truly comfortable with his place in life.  Simply because of the way they are allegedly programmed.  Or are the men that are married to doctors the small focus group of males that aren’t programmed to feel like that?  One would argue with me that in today’s world things are different.  Women have proven themselves in the workplace in all career paths and working mothers are out there more now than ever before.  But personally, I can’t help but feel like in medicine…when you hear the word doctor you still assume…male.  But the reality is not the assumption.  There are doctor’s husbands out there.  Lots of them.  I just wonder if those men think like me when it comes to medicine.  I guess I won’t ever really know unless I decide to undergo a sex change surgery.  But I think it’s good food for thought.  Don’t you?

reverse roles

Storage Savviness And Suburbia Dreamin’

Living in NYC means little living space which means small apartments and small closets.  Unless of course you are among the lucky wealthy folk who reside in the Penthouses and million dollar apartments you see on Selling New York.  When you don’t grow up here and move here later in life, the adjustments you have to make to settle in are remarkable.  Not dissimilar to life adjustments that need to made when your significant other chooses the career path of medicine.  But for NYC – giving up personal/living/storage space, using public transportation, walking everywhere, the hefty price tags, the overwhelming selection of stores, the sites, the celebrities, the fast pace, the people – literally everything is an adjustment.

This past weekend we celebrated our 2nd anniversary in suburbia NY, where we played house for the weekend and did a wine tour along Long Island’s North Fork.  It was perfect.  And for the first time since we moved to NYC…we both had the itch of wanting a real place of our own – with a yard, an upstairs, a downstairs, a driveway, a front door and all that’s in between.  It was peaceful, it was quiet and I knew I wasn’t used to it when I refused to go into another room at night without Mr. Dr. because I was scared that someone was going to jump out next to me and say “boo.”  We are not going to be city lifers, and we know it is just a matter of time until we move onto suburbia.  And after this weekend, I am ready for the next few years to fly by so that we can enjoy that next chapter.  Here are a couple of pictures from our Saturday funday.

Raphael's Vineyard

Raphael’s Vineyard

LIV Vodka Distillery

LIV Vodka Distillery

One thing that our play house had was tons of closet space.  A rare gold mine in our neck of the woods streets.  So we have gotten creative over the years in finding new ways to fit all of our things and make it work.  Especially in the clothing department.  Purchasing these Ikea wardrobes (also shown below) was probably the best investment we made once we moved into the city.  It only took about one day for us to realize that my our clothes were not going to fit in the joke of what they call closet space allotted to most of these apartments.  I could barely fit 1 week of my wardrobe in the space I was given.  What was I to do with the rest of the clothes?  And minor detail…where do Mr. Dr.’s clothes go?  Hell I was seriously ready to pull a Carrie Bradshaw and use the oven for shoe storage.  We were lucky to even have an oven.  It was a massive organization/purge task, certainly one I was not used to, but one I was willing to take on.  So the second best decision we made aside from actually purchasing the wardrobes themselves was getting them with the mirrored doors.  We got the mirrored ones at the time because they were the cheapest but I’ll be damned if they haven’t made every apartment we have lived in look bigger.  People don’t even notice they are there half the time either.  Oh and just to toot their horn a little more, I never had to buy a full length mirror thanks to these suckers.  I would recommend these to anyone living in a space with small closets.  With one small caveat.

Wardrobes

Do not move these or think you can move these if you are 5′ 4″ tall with a small build.  Even if you think you are strong enough, you are wrong.  I have vowed after every move that these would not be following us and would be left rather in the apartment for the new tenants.  They are such a freaking pain to move.  After the first move with these things, and one Mr. Dr. and I did completely on our own with zero assistance, the day ended with blood, sweat and tears from laboring over these units.  They were practically the only pieces of furniture we had to move and I was a wreck.  The next day I had bruises all over me as if I was a battered girlfriend.  I would glance at the bruises and shutter with flashbacks.  There I was holding one end, Mr. Dr. on the other.  The sweat was dripping and my clammy hands were gripping for dear life as the heavy corners began slipping through my hands, ripping through my skin and then piece by piece the furniture began falling onto different parts of my poor, little helpless body as we inched down the skinny corridor to our new door.  I could feel my bicep tissue stretching from one side to the other about to burst.  I’m not kidding.  It was one of the worst experiences of my life.  Very.happy.those.days.are.over and we can actually afford some help to move.

But these wardrobes helped me allow so many more desirable pieces into my apparel rotation.  For that I am eternally grateful.*  Thank you Ikea for making affordable furniture that still looks nice and for providing us with a showroom that we can walk through to help us get ideas on how to live in a space smaller than most people’s kitchens.  And specifically, for helping me refrain from pulling every last strand of my hair out when we signed that first lease on a living space that was 500 square feet.  There are a lot of people out there that are against Ikea and think the furniture quality is subpar.  I would say the majority of those people probably don’t live in NYC.  Because anyone that does, knows how much of an asset that store can be while trying to get your life together on a tiny budget in a tiny space.

We are still creative with storage and are constantly trying to be dexterous with our space-saving techniques.  New ideas are always welcome so send the crafty ones my way.  Especially if they have anything to do with storing shoes or clothes.  Those are top of the list…of course.

*We currently still have these wardrobes.  They have traveled with us to every apartment and I am still as in love with them as I was 5 years ago.

Cheers To 2 Years

Today is  Mr. Dr. and I’s 2 year anniversary.  It is pretty remarkable how fast the last two years have flown by.  I can still vividly remember coming home a week before our wedding to find him staring at the TV screen engrossed in a project.  He had downloaded a software program to help with the seating chart and hooked up the computer to our TV screen so we could look at the ballroom layout big picture.  (This was post-match, pre-wedding/4th year graduation so he had ample free time.)  It was pretty amazing.  The fact that he cared enough to help with last minute planning and went the extra bit to lay everything out for his bride to easily approve was very thoughtful.  Reason 381746564 why I married him.

If you would have asked me 9 years ago (the year we met) where I saw myself in 10 years I probably would not have said living in NYC, married to a doctor.  I probably would have said hopefully living in NYC, married to a doctor. Bahaha.  Yeah right.  All the way up until that becomes one’s reality.  Then you realize all too quickly that reality is a bit harsher than anticipated.  No, I probably said I’d be married with 3 kids, and have a nice little home out in the burbs somewhere with my sweet little family.  But that is just too boring right?  And boring is not a word that people use to describe me or Mr. Dr.  So I guess it’s fitting that our relationship 9 years later has turned into a beautiful, blossoming tilt-a-whirl ride that you might enjoy at your nearest carnival.  Up, down and all around.  We are crazy, our schedule has no routine, some weeks we hardly see each other, we barely have a savings, we fight, we laugh, we cuddle and we love each other so much that he gives me 3/4 of the bed most nights so I can sprawl, and I meet him down at the hospital every chance I get even if it’s for 5 minutes when he is on an overnight call just so I can give him a smooch.  But at the end of every nutty day, every hardship, every little speed bump and every next turn, I wouldn’t trade this marriage for the world.  I guess that feeling is how you know you picked the right guy.

I woke up on the day of our wedding to dark skies, pouring rain and a tornado warning (thankfully my family and maids spared me of the tornado news until the next day by keeping all TVs and news outlets turned off).  But for every dark cloud in that sky and every drop of rain that soaked Baltimore, there was a smile that day.  There was so much love surrounding us on our wedding day and we felt so lucky to be with all of the people that share in our happiness each and every day.  Despite what the weatherman said, the sun was shining…in a beautiful church and a stunning mansion where we celebrated with our favorite people.

Check out our fun highlight video: Looze Wedding Video

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And here are some more of my favorite moments from our special day…

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Umbrella Photo

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Mini Makeover: Blog Edition

Surprise

Remember when I told you I was keeping a secret?  And my hint was about loving a makeover?  Well surprise!  I was referring to my blog.  I could probably use a mini makeover myself at some point but as of recent my makeover efforts were pointing virtually.  So here she is.  With the help and expertise of Nikki from Delightful Designs we collaborated to create a fun, playful design that suits my blog and brought to life the vision I had in my head.

And check out my new button.  Cute right?  Grab it from my sidebar and spread the love.
When Life Gives You Medicine Make Martinis

Whadda ya think??  Hope you enjoy the new look as much as I do. :)

Jamaica 2.0

We are fresh back from our Jamaican vacation, the second annual siblings trip and a fun time was had by all.  I am loving the warm weather we came back to here in NYC.  It has been a beautiful couple of days and I am hoping it stays that way.  We left over a week ago in 30 degrees and came back to upper 50s.  Spring has shown it’s face and I couldn’t be happier.

Our vacation was everything we hoped it would be – relaxing, carefree, cell phone-less, sunny (with a few spots of rain), pretty, a bit adventurous and most of all a ton of fun.  We arrived to a slightly overcast horizon in Ocho Rios but the weather got better each day.  And we were awarded the most amazing treat as we were departing JFK at 5am to start our vacation.

First Class

Enjoying my spread in 1st Class

We got upgraded FOR FREE to first class.  A few things.  #1 Neither Mr. Dr. nor I have ever sat in First Class and to be honest, it’s probably safe to say that before this trip I never thought we ever would.  #2 We are never the people that get lucky when it comes to this kind of stuff.  In fact, when they called us up to the front desk over the loud speaker at 5am, I was half asleep taking a bite into my McDonald’s hash brown and my first 3 immediate thoughts were:

-”Damn you Caribbean Airlines for losing our luggage before we even board.”
-”Shit, what did we do wrong this time? I swear I abided by all of the carry-on luggage rules.”
-”No I am not going to be OK sitting apart if you are going to tell me that you need to separate us.”

But low and behold the lady behind the counter says “We are giving you a complimentary upgrade to First Class.”  Mr. Dr. looked at me with the eyes of someone who knows his wife all too well.  You know…the eyes that are telling me not to ask why in God’s name we were chosen because we are just 2 normal people who don’t fly that often and are way too frugal to ever actually pay for an upgrade like this ourselves.  His approach is keep mouths shut and accept the generous offering.  But my instincts took over and those 2 little words trickled out of my hash brown-filled lips…”But why?”  Luckily the answer was simply because occasionally people are chosen at random if seats are available.  Phew.  We did nothing wrong.  I couldn’t believe it.  Well now I know why people do pay for the upgrade.  It’s amazing!  I was drinking mimosas at 6am not because I wanted them, but because I could.  I was exhausted but didn’t want to sleep because I wanted to enjoy every minute of my flying experience.  It really was a treat.  As expected, the flight home was sub par compared to the flight there and we were quickly reminded that coach is where the recliner option is broken and you get served crackers and juice instead of blueberry pankcakes and champagne.

Here are some other highlights from our trip.

Beach Pic

Lobby

Pool Relaxing

Italian Dinner

Coconuts

Beach Volleyball

ShuffleBoard

Ziplining

Our Great Company :)

Our Great Company :)

We rotated from the pool to the beach and from the boardwalk bar to the pool bar.  We drank, ate and laughed for 5 straight days.  We played beach volleyball everyday to get our workout in and tipsy shuffleboard after dinner.  We went zip lining for the first time and after the initial shakes prior to the first one, we had a blast.  And never have I ever…had Easter dinner at a Japanese Steakhouse with a chef named Shannon the Cannon.  That will probably be a first and a last but it was great!

Our Easter Dinner

And now we are back to reality…another vacation down and already looking forward to the next one.  Until then I will rely on this to hold me over.

Cocktails

Medical Monday

I hope everyone had a great weekend and if applicable a wonderful Easter celebration.  As you read this I am probably relaxing under the hot Jamaican sun getting my tan on.  Luckily that smarty named wordpress invented the option of scheduled posts.  And while it is April Fool’s Day it is still the first Monday of the month which means jokes aside…it’s Medical Monday.  Be sure to link up with the button below and enjoy some great reads from others in the medical blog community.  I will be linking up and catching up on my reading when I return at the end of this week.  Talk to you in a week folks!

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