Hot Sweaty Mess

Is it really the end of July?  I am just now realizing I never even filled you in on my first residency graduation dinner experience from June?  Bad blogger, Mrs. Dr., bad blogger.  Although I suppose the positive side of that means that I have been busy busy busy and that my friends is true.  That post will come soon.  In the meantime, summer, as usual, is cruising on by.  Just yesterday it feels I was aching for 85 and sunny to show its face as I trotted to work in the brisk April weather.  And then bam.  55 turned to 65 and 65 turned to a whopping 95.

Seriously, NYC has gone through a pretty drastic heat wave these past few weeks.  Although the last 24 hours have been quite nice.  You won’t hear me complaining because my motto is bring on the heat, but I must say, getting to work and having to wipe down my skin from perspiration is not sexy.  For godsakes, can they at least get a fan in the elevators at work so our cramped ride up 16 floors is a little more bearable?  My commute is just long enough that I get into the building and am feeling like a hot, sweaty mess.  When I where certain outfits I have to check that the clothing hasn’t completely stuck to areas of my skin or that my sweat lines aren’t busting through the material.  Then I cool off for a hot second and regain my composure.  Elevator comes and I step in only to get some serious shoulder to shoulder action with other hot sweaty skinned messes.  The sweat glands open up yet again and I occasionally feel my hair strands sticking to my neck as we open and close on what feels like every floor before I get to mine.  As the bodies get pawned off floor by floor there is slight relief as we inch up.  I reach my floor, depart from the hot box and step out into the cool air.  At that moment I am thankful for the blistering chill that sweeps my body as I walk to my desk.

Upon desk arrival, I wipe myself down, sit and regroup for the morning.  And then promptly at around 10am I find myself pulling my sweater out to throw on.  The body has adjusted to the cool environment and my bring on the heat mentality kicks back into gear.  Come afternoon, it is only a matter of time before I turn on the heater that resides underneath my desk.  I will never understand why every single office has two temperatures – scolding hot to the point working is not option and everyone should just go home to be productive OR Alaskan cold to the point where we consider bringing blankets to work because it is a necessary accessory to keep warm.

So my solution is that we all move to an island and have outside offices.  No one would need a fan or a heater.  If you get hot, you take a dip in the pool.  If you get cold, you take a dip in the hot tub.  Every office would have a retractable roof in case of inclement weather.  Then if it rains, we can have cover.  The employee morale would be instantly boosted and the positive attitudes would be overwhelming.  Yeah mon.  Working remotely never sounded so good.

Mr. & Mrs. Sitting In A Tree…K-I-S-S-I-M.D.

Way back when…like back to the days of athletic sweat pants and jungle juice…Mr. Dr. and I started “date night” in our relationship.  Date night has really evolved over the years.  Back in college it meant dedicating a night to just each other since we didn’t live together and both had roommates.  We liked to try a new restaurant on every date.  Tidbit: I made this awesome (yes it really was) scrapbook for him as a college graduation/birthday gift and it included receipts, pictures and other takeaways from our date nights throughout college.  Sigh.  That scrapbook still makes me smile.  It sits on the same bookshelf as our wedding album.  We sure have been through a lot together!

Fast forward to the fall of 2007 when he started med school.  Date night sort of fell off the radar.  We were living together for the first time, he was adjusting to school and I was cranking away at finding a job.  Note: Do try to move to NYC with a job locked in.  Moving up here with no job is not the most fun start to a new adventure together.  As med school continued and we were busy in our daily routine chaotic lives we realized something was missing from our relationship.  Date night.  So we resurrected it.  We decided we would make an effort in our busy (or what we thought was busy at the time) schedules to make time for each other on a dedicated night once a week.  All was well for a while.

Well then we got engaged in 2009.  Wedding planning and 3rd year medical rotations took over.  Date nights took a back seat once again.

We got married and matched so we finally had a locked in plan for the next 5 years.  We settled into a new apartment and residency began.  Life became…different.  Hectic was an understatement.  Adjusting to him being gone so much was hard (even harder than having him gone for 2 months in a different state during 4th year med school rotations).  But being in the city that never sleeps with a job that kept me busy I was managing.  I had preemptively warned my family and friends to be on standby 24/7 for when I would need that ‘it’s going to be OK’ phone call.  Mr. Dr. and I quickly realized how important it was to bring back date night once again.  Having a dedicated night to each other took on a new meaning.  It became a must mostly for me to know he is still did exist in the flesh.

So here we are.  2+ years into residency.  Well our date nights have varied to say the least but I am happy to report we still both make an effort to accommodate weekly date night.  Some of them have been spent ordering takeout with a bottle of wine in front of the TV.  Some have been candlelit dinners cooked together in our tiny kitchen.  Some have been BYOB dinners at our local pizzeria or sushi restaurant.  And some have been an impromptu fancy steak dinner where we dress to the nines and make a night on the town out of it.  What I have failed to mention thus far are the date nights that Mr. Dr. misses because he has to work too late.  Those last minute cancels via text are not fun.  Or the date nights that we have planned, reservations and all, except we never make it out of the apartment because Mr. Dr. has come home and fallen asleep on the couch after 5 minutes.  These kinds of date nights do rear their little heads.  But as a resident’s wife I have learned to accept that this comes with the territory.  And that is OK.  Sometimes now just the thought of date night is what suffices.  When before I used to get annoyed that we deviated from what we had planned, now I just hope he makes it through our night without falling asleep mid-dinner.  I know what you are thinking.  Forget residency…how does he fall asleep with a wife as entertaining as myself!?  I often wonder this too.  I mean just the other day my shower singing was bringin’ sexy back for him.  How can one not love my serenading from the bathroom?  I’m sure if you asked him he would agree.

All in all our weekly date nights are my most anticipated night of the week giving us both something to look forward to.  If it happens great.  If it gets cancelled or moved that’s fine too.  If he gets home 3 hours later than expected and I am on my 2nd cocktail, well hey at least he made it home for the 3rd.  The good news is that I appreciate our date nights even more now than ever before.  Time with my Mr. Dr. is something I value and that is certainly something that residency has helped teach me.   Sure we still try for weekly date nights.  But I try not to blink because sometimes that’s all it is before Mr. Dr. is fast asleep and the zzzzz’s win date night.

Celebrating 1 Fabulous Year

July marks a very exciting time for WLGYM…MM.  It’s my 1 Year Blogiversary!  This time one year ago I had a thought.  Well I had a lot of thoughts that were driving me just too crazy.  One of those thoughts turned into an idea.  Well I had a lot of ideas that were probably just not that great.  Like that sewing class years back…eek.  But one of those ideas last July was one of my best yet.  And voila, 365(ish) days have passed since I made my entrance into the blogosphere.  Thank goodness every blind squirrel finds a nut because I had no idea that my measily little blog idea would turn around and give back to me such fulfilling reward.

I knew I liked to write, I knew I liked to talk.  I knew I was sick of med school (even though it was over), I knew I was sick of residency (even though we were only a year in).  I knew I lived in a great city, I knew I liked to drink beaucoup cocktails.  I knew monetarily we didn’t have much, I knew in my heart we had the world.  I knew Mr. Dr. had a long way to go, I knew it felt like was never going to end.  I knew we were lucky to have each other, I knew I was just as lucky to have the local liquor store and bar.  I knew I liked to read blogs, I knew I wanted an outlet.  I knew I was a little crazy, I knew people knew I was a little crazy.  I knew my emotions fluctuated constantly, I knew what it meant to feel alone.  I knew I wanted to make a change.

When I created this blog I wrote in my about me section the following: This blog is a testament to myself, husband, family, friends and anyone out there who knows what’s it like to not spend a whole lot of face time with your significant other; but yet still stay connected, happy and sane in your relationship…and in life.

Well folks, so far, I am proud to say that statement remains the truth.  I write genuinely and openly about the great, good, bad and ugly of the ups and downs of our medical and non-medical worlds combining to create one perfect science of a relationship and life together.  Mix in a few cocktails and there ya have it.  Not only a testament but the best therapy money can’t buy.  I am humbled by my readers who take the time to follow me each and every week.  Having you along to share in this journey has made me feel so blessed, thank you.  The support I have been given from the moment I started this blog has been blissfully unexpected and overwhelmingly comforting.  I am grateful to have joined such a great medical spouse community and virtual support group.  Readers – I hope I have given you the laughs and smiles through my reading that you all inspire to me to have as I write.  It’s been a great year.  Now onto the next.  Happy 1 Year Blogiversary to me :)

1st birthday

Baby You’re A Firework

Happy Birthday America.  July 4th has always been one of my favorite holidays.  Well I like all holidays really.  Because you get a day off work, everyone is happy, you (hopefully) get to spend it with family & friends and it’s a great excuse to drink and eat a lot.  But July 4th is extra special because it’s in the heat of summer and I loooove summer.  It also brings back great memories.  Every year growing up we had a big 4th of July party at my parent’s house.  They live across the street from a big park that has an annual fireworks show.  We gathered the troops, grilled out, filled the coolers, played horseshoes, badminton, went swimming and partied till the pitch black.  Over the years once us kids took on the profession of college students, the party transpired and we added beer pong (kids vs. dads) tournaments to the activity list.  Fun times were had by all.  I made vodka punches that could have killed a group of small animals but everyone left buzzed, happy and with a full bladder.

4th of July party circa 2005ish??  Gosh we are young and spritely.

4th of July party circa 2005ish?? Gosh we look young and spritely.

With where we are now in our lives, the July 4th holiday holds a new, unique meaning since its always the week Mr. Dr. embarks on the next year of his doctorhood training.  Another reason to celebrate an already favorite holiday?  Sign me up!

Have a great holiday

2nd Year = DONE

check mark

Happy July 1st and Happy Medical Monday.  And most of all.  Happy first day of PGY3 for us.  It’s here.  The end to PGY2 has come.  The final rotation of ortho trauma is complete and although it was a doozy it.is.over.  I could not be happier to have the first 2 years of residency done and under our belts.  And I know I speak for both Mr. and Mrs. Dr. on that one.  It has been a pretty nutty year in the land of orthopedic residency.  I didn’t think that the hours would get worse from intern year…but they did.  I didn’t think his time “at home” in front of the computer or on the phone could increase from intern year…but it did.  I didn’t think the 24 hour shifts were real…but they are.  I didn’t think that Mr. Dr. would ever really get used to functioning on empty…but he did…and he does.

Now I also didn’t think that after working the longer hours he would maintain the excitement for his job…but he has.  In fact, his excitement for orthopedics has grown and it has been a really fun, inspiring venture to watch.  Hal-eh-lu-ya.  Rest assured he chose the right specialty.  However in full disclosure, there was a point a few months into 2nd year when Mrs. Dr. had to come to the rescue and politely reiterate to a defeated Mr. Dr. that we were not quitting after a couple rough tussles were had in the hospital.  Keeping the eye on the prize was more or less what I insisted so kindly reminded him was our goal.  I of course left out the following statements:

-Are you kidding? Of course there is no turning back.
-Did you forget that large 6 digit number of debt we have lingering over the tops of our little heads?
-Get it together Doc. We are in it for the long haul.
-We (let’s be honest, more specifically I) have not endured 6 years of this medical life crap for nothing.

No no.  I left all of that out and spoke to him like a motivational speaker on her best day.  And somehow it worked.  I was probably a few glasses of wine or maybe even a bottle in but sometimes that’s all we need.  But that was it…only 1 major hurdle to cross.  I use that term loosely as there are lots of hurdles.  But hey – if only 1 major down occurs in 365 days in a field where we have more ups and downs than a roller coaster at Six Flags that is considered a big win.

Best of all, he never ceases to amaze me.  He comes home from work at 9am or 9pm with a smile on his face.  He works hard and puts in the time where it’s due and doesn’t complain.  In fact, he is the one that politely reminds me that whether we like it or not, there isn’t a whole lot he can really have a say in so for now we just have to go with it.  And believe me, I need that reminder.

That is probably my biggest learning from 2nd year.  I can’t tell you how many times I said to myself “just go with the flow.”  It helped me tremendously when dealing with unfair scheduling, long calls, missed holidays, missed events and all of the other crap that goes along with being a resident.  So much of it is beyond their poor, suture sewing control.  I reached the point this year where I understood what it meant to direct my anger away from him and instead out into the air (or into the vodka), because there was not a whole hell of a lot either of us could do about the many frustrations he, and sometimes we, were experiencing.  But as usual, we got through it with laughs, smiles and a few sparse tears.

I’d say with 2 years of orthopedic residency done and our marriage still not only in tact, but happy as can be, those theme parks better start lining up at our door.  The Mr. & Mrs. Dr. ride might just be the next big conquering amusement. :).  Come one, come all.