Way back when…like back to the days of athletic sweat pants and jungle juice…Mr. Dr. and I started “date night” in our relationship. Date night has really evolved over the years. Back in college it meant dedicating a night to just each other since we didn’t live together and both had roommates. We liked to try a new restaurant on every date. Tidbit: I made this awesome (yes it really was) scrapbook for him as a college graduation/birthday gift and it included receipts, pictures and other takeaways from our date nights throughout college. Sigh. That scrapbook still makes me smile. It sits on the same bookshelf as our wedding album. We sure have been through a lot together!
Fast forward to the fall of 2007 when he started med school. Date night sort of fell off the radar. We were living together for the first time, he was adjusting to school and I was cranking away at finding a job. Note: Do try to move to NYC with a job locked in. Moving up here with no job is not the most fun start to a new adventure together. As med school continued and we were busy in our daily
routine chaotic lives we realized something was missing from our relationship. Date night. So we resurrected it. We decided we would make an effort in our busy (or what we thought was busy at the time) schedules to make time for each other on a dedicated night once a week. All was well for a while.
Well then we got engaged in 2009. Wedding planning and 3rd year medical rotations took over. Date nights took a back seat once again.
We got married and matched so we finally had a locked in plan for the next 5 years. We settled into a new apartment and residency began. Life became…different. Hectic was an understatement. Adjusting to him being gone so much was hard (even harder than having him gone for 2 months in a different state during 4th year med school rotations). But being in the city that never sleeps with a job that kept me busy I was managing. I had preemptively warned my family and friends to be on standby 24/7 for when I would need that ‘it’s going to be OK’ phone call. Mr. Dr. and I quickly realized how important it was to bring back date night once again. Having a dedicated night to each other took on a new meaning. It became a must mostly for me to know he is still did exist in the flesh.
So here we are. 2+ years into residency. Well our date nights have varied to say the least but I am happy to report we still both make an effort to accommodate weekly date night. Some of them have been spent ordering takeout with a bottle of wine in front of the TV. Some have been candlelit dinners cooked together in our tiny kitchen. Some have been BYOB dinners at our local pizzeria or sushi restaurant. And some have been an impromptu fancy steak dinner where we dress to the nines and make a night on the town out of it. What I have failed to mention thus far are the date nights that Mr. Dr. misses because he has to work too late. Those last minute cancels via text are not fun. Or the date nights that we have planned, reservations and all, except we never make it out of the apartment because Mr. Dr. has come home and fallen asleep on the couch after 5 minutes. These kinds of date nights do rear their little heads. But as a resident’s wife I have learned to accept that this comes with the territory. And that is OK. Sometimes now just the thought of date night is what suffices. When before I used to get annoyed that we deviated from what we had planned, now I just hope he makes it through our night without falling asleep mid-dinner. I know what you are thinking. Forget residency…how does he fall asleep with a wife as entertaining as myself!? I often wonder this too. I mean just the other day my shower singing was bringin’ sexy back for him. How can one not love my serenading from the bathroom? I’m sure if you asked him he would agree.
All in all our weekly date nights are my most anticipated night of the week giving us both something to look forward to. If it happens great. If it gets cancelled or moved that’s fine too. If he gets home 3 hours later than expected and I am on my 2nd cocktail, well hey at least he made it home for the 3rd. The good news is that I appreciate our date nights even more now than ever before. Time with my Mr. Dr. is something I value and that is certainly something that residency has helped teach me. Sure we still try for weekly date nights. But I try not to blink because sometimes that’s all it is before Mr. Dr. is fast asleep and the zzzzz’s win date night.