I bet you are questioning this above device because you think you know what it is. But why would anyone want to resurface a device that hasn’t been thought about by the general public since the 198o’s? Well my friends you are right. It is a pager and no one uses these things anymore unless…you work in a hospital. When Mr. Dr. was in medical school I used to make fun of the fact that they still use pagers. Well nowadays I wish I could go back to those funny beeper jokes because it has gone from a silly joke to a not so fun real life addition to our family. In a decade of tablets, paper thin computers, bluetooth headsets and video web chats the most efficient way for communication among doctors, nurses and other lucky ones in the medical field is through the beeper. Really?? Unfortunately…yes really. But hey I guess it’s only fitting considering the beeper was first used in a Jewish hospital in New York. I did not make that up. So like I said…fitting since that is Mr. Dr.’s life.
The excessive pages coming out of that device that usually resides on Mr. Dr.’s belt loop or next to our bed is out of control. He has the luxury of home call for a few months and as glamorous as that sounds it means dreading the beeps that come out of that mini device. Sure it looks innocent and harmless. And just when you get comfortable on the couch or sit down at a restaurant to get something to eat it attacks like a lion hungry for it’s prey. And our peaceful home call Friday night turns into a sleepless and interrupted night for Mr. Dr. – oh the joys of home call and…the beeper.
Part of me thinks that hospitals still use these so they can justify not paying for the phone plans of all doctors. I swear Mr. Dr. is on his cell phone more than I could have ever imagined. Whether its texting, emailing or phoning whoever it may be (nurse, chief, attending, patient) his cell phone is constantly in hand and in use after hours (loose terminology as I think after hours is not clearly defined in medicine). And as soon as that beeper goes off that means he is calling back the hospital within 20 minutes. It’s like having a booty call. Only…from our experience these booty calls aren’t usually pleasurable or desired.
Let’s face it. Even in the popular comedy The Hangover when Alan asks the hotel concierge why his beeper wasn’t getting a “sig” you can’t help but laugh. Because no one…I repeat no one…still uses one of these suckers.
At this rate I’m not sure hospitals are ever going to turn away from Al Gros’ mind-numbingly brilliant invention. It just makes too perfect of sense for hospital workers I suppose. It’s efficient, a money-saver and has proven to be effective. I like to think it won’t be around forever. But I mean come on. Orthopedic surgeons are putting prosthetics in people that end up competing in the Olympics and we can’t find a cure for the beeper? Seems strange. In the meantime maybe I will consider sending the following letter along to one of America’s favorite corporations.
Dear Apple ,
You invent lots of amazing devices. You are always thinking one step ahead. You design and create revolutionary technologies. PLEASE for the love of God can you please find a substitute for the 1949 beeper? My plea to you is to invent something with the following criteria:
-Doesn’t make noise
-Doesn’t interrupt our life
-Lets Mr. Dr. sleep more
-Eliminates most patient emergencies
If you could create and send it my way I would greatly appreciate it. I realize it may seem I am asking you to make magic but I think based on your successful track record, it’s possible.