Tensing 1-2, Tensing 1-2-3

Tension is defined in the dictionary as:

1. the act of stretching or straining
2. the state of being stretched or strained
3. mental or emotional strain

Here is the confusing part to me about this word.  Nothing about tension makes me feel like I am stretching.  Stretching as far as I’m concerned makes you feel better.  It warms and helps elongate your muscles in a feel good way.  But when I feel tense I feel tight and cold inside.  So how is it that tension is really the act of stretching?  I feel like every other day I am complaining to Mr. Dr. about feeling tense.  I sit at my desk at work and my body feels tense because of the way I sit or type.  I walk home from work with my heavy handbag and my body feels tense.  I get nervous about something or my mind wanders into unfavorable territory and I tense up.  I feel like I live in a state of tension most of my awake life and I don’t even realize it half the time.  So normally after I tell him how tense I have been feeling, I proceed to make him feel my knotty upper back and shoulders for rectification.  I wish every second those hands are on my shoulders that they stay there a few extra minutes and massage out every last twirled loop of a ligament inside of me but usually they feel out the knots just long enough for him to say, “Yes I agree, you feel very tense.”  And then I am left standing there with my complaint and a crunchy back.

Sorry Webster but in my opinion, you have defined this one incorrectly.  I mean just as I was typing this post my mind associated the word tension with stress and I started to write that word down instead of stretch as the definition.  It doesn’t help that those two words look and sound alike.  Look I get it.  The act of stretching a part of your body to the point of strain thus leading to discomfort in some way, shape or form.  But if that is the case then stretching shouldn’t be associated with therapy of any kind.  Think about it.  You get a massage to ease tension.  But a massage essentially stretches out your muscles right?  So riddle me that.  A massage is supposed to cure tension by stretching not create it by stretching?  I hope now that I am not the only one confused.  Maybe there is a masseuse out there who can ease the new tension knot I have just created in my back from trying to figure out the derivation of this little t word.

Somehow I don’t think that my ranting rationale will be able convince most of the general public that there is in fact a glitch in the system with this definition.  But that’s why God gave some of our husbands, friends, family and boyfriends the desire to head to medical school.  It’s fascinating things like tension and stretching that peaked some of their interests.  Well earn your money docs and find me a 24/7 treatment for tension that allows me to not tense up when I’m treating myself.  Not even retail therapy can cure this one because the more bags you leave with…the more tense your arms.  And the more worn out your credit card…the more tense your mind.  It’s time for another treatment plan.

5 thoughts on “Tensing 1-2, Tensing 1-2-3

  1. That definition needs reworking, you are right! My husband in normally pretty good about working my knots out, but when I have to go solo nothing makes them melt like a hot bath with some aromatics. I carry my stress (tension) in between my shoulder blades – they are always crunchy!

  2. You describe me perfectly every day. You’ll be walking along happily and realize you are tense, shake out your shoulders, take two steps and that damn tension returns. You and I were made for beach weather, light breeze, and cold drinks.

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