When I think about hospital relationships Grey’s Anatomy always pops into my head. I don’t know if anyone out there still watches it but we certainly do. Mr. Dr. likes to compare the made up show to real Dr. life. People ask me how similar real life residency is compared to Grey’s Anatomy residency all the time. I think for a lot of people, the show is actually pretty educational. Obviously a lot of it is inaccurate and there are certain things that would never happen the way they do on the show, but I think they do a decent job getting the big points across.
One thing that is completely blown out of proportion are the relationships that occur in the hospital. The show makes you think that all residents date attendings and that call rooms are quickie sex caves for anyone that steps foot in them. Well unfortunately, this is not entirely true. Doctors do nap in there and hey, I am sure there are a few real life doctors who have used them for much more than just a place to nap, but for the most part they aren’t sex havens. Hate to be the bearer of that news as I know we were all hoping for a porno to be taking place behind hospital call room doors. But c’mon. #1 most doctors don’t have that much time free during the day and #2 I wouldn’t exactly call the hospital an aphrodisiac as its not the most romantic place in the world. For me, the thought of exposing my bottom half in there for anything other than a pee sample is pretty gross. As for relationships, yes, attendings do date residents. Is it common? I wouldn’t go that far but it’s known that it happens. It is, however, very common for residents to date other residents. They don’t necessarily pass each other around like pieces of meat like the residents on the show, but real life resident love is definitely in the hospital airs.
I think it really hit me last year. I always wondered why so many doctors dated other doctors. Mr. Dr. has always said that he loves the fact that I am far removed from the medical field except that I’m AAD. That I help him remember there is life outside of the hospital and that it’s nice to have conversations about normal things other than medicine and work. But I am far from normal so I
think know I also keep him pretty entertained.
After a year of residency under our belts I do understand why doctors date other doctors, especially residents. It is SO hard to explain the life, schedule and career to someone in a completely unrelatable field. People do not understand the hours, commitment and quite frankly, a lot of times do not believe there are humans out there that really operate (ha! no pun intended) the way doctors do. Seriously. People look at me like I have three heads when I tell them that Mr. Dr. worked 100 hours last week and hasn’t had a day off in 14 days. They think I’m lying. Just trust me on this one. It sucks. That aside, generally I think it’s tough for people to adjust and sympathize with the lifestyle of someone in medicine. Unless you are like me and have been with your significant other Dr. for years and years, it’s hard to accept a lot of the rough realities about a doctor’s life if you enter their world mid-career. But if you are a resident dating a resident then you just get it. You don’t need to explain yourself because all residents understand what it takes, what its like and what the other is going through. Obviously all specialties are a little different but for the most part, there seems to be an unspoken understanding among residents and people of the like in the hospital that makes it easy. And after an 18 hour work day, easier probably seems better.
The other reason is because of the obvious. Some doctors just don’t have the time to go out and meet other people. I mean what is a girl on a blind date going to say at a dinner table if all of the sudden Dr. Single has to get up and rush to the hospital. “Sorry, I just got called in to save a life, and I might be doing this every night for the next two weeks so can we rain check for 3 weeks from now?” Onto the next. Meeting people can be hard as it is, and if you are already too busy to get a normal night’s sleep, how are you supposed to meet someone outside of work? A patient maybe? Think Teddy (the heart surgeon) and Henry from Grey’s. Speaking of dead hubby Henry…check out below. I had the pleasure of meeting dead hubby Henry (real life name Scott Foley) this year. Super nice guy by the way. RIP Henry on the show.
Look, I’m no dating expert – I’m just a girl who happens to be married to a guy who wanted to be a doctor. Some girls go out and search for doctors. Those ladies are called gold diggers. Some girls just happen to stumble upon one like I did. And then there are some girls that find theirs in the hospital. Each doctor relationship has their own story and how they got there is different for everyone. Just keep in mind, IF you are one of those girls in search of dating a doctor for the glitz and glamour, be cautious of the young sparky looking guys in white coats because you just may want to pick up the post residency guys that are probably a bit aged and have a litttttle less hair. Those are the ones that might be able to buy you that new Louis Vuitton bag you have been eyeing. Just saying.